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To think about the kids. Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. I was in the same boat. Good luck to you. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? Eventually though, it caught up to us. Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. She doesn't deserve that. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." She has someone who depends solely on her. I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. We've been together 9. If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. It will not update but downgrade yourself. THAT'S IT. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. This is nuts. But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. On the contrary, women have been forced to marry men they didn't love for centuries. You will need to end an unwanted relationship. You are in control of your life. But I want to be a father. Privacy Policy. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. I used to . Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? I was in love with someone else. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. Romantic relationship of beautiful couple. cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. THEN, MAYBE THEY BREAK UP CUZ THEY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. Single. We are two total opposite people. One slight problem I don't love her! Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. 37 weeks today. Babies can put stress on a couple because it requires both mom and dad to give of themselves. You can't force yourself to love him. "All of the rational thoughts. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. Does it feels good to fake your feelings? I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz. Rightfully so! HERE YOU GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, THE FATHER AND THE GIRLFRIEND AT HAPPINESS IN LIFE. One in 4 women will hang onto 11 lbs. I think it's so hard for me to love this baby because I don't love my partner. I honestly could not ever think of missing out on this child's growing up, especially the early stages. Plan the best decision that both of you can have to take a good care of the baby. It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. My greatest concern is the child. **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. Hey I know exactly how you feel. Life will not be easier staying with him. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. I don't need judge mental opinions just ideas and support. At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. 2) Are you prepared to forego this child and create a loving family with someone you truly love (which means you will wait for this new love to bear you a child).but be completely guilty all your life to abandon your first newborn just because you dont love your girlfriend. 2Face. Does he still love me? It wasn't working out before she got pregnant and now it's 100x worse because of her hormones. I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. Don't try to be super-parent and don't let other people's unfair assumptions affect how you see yourself and your family. She needs someone that truly loves her. I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. Will you make a better progress by doing so? Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you Black beauty, oh oh oh Black beauty, oh oh oh I paint the house black My wedding dress black leather too You have no room for light Love is lost on you I keep my lips red To seem like cherries in the spring Darling, you can't let everything useless boy!! She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. Be strong. It doesn't, does it? I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. First step: Don't rush things. I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. Sex is the leading cause of babies. You moved into his house, you let him buy you a car and you quit your job because he was financial there. K lemme get one thing straight. I've been in one relationship like it and told myself I wouldn't be in one again. More answers below Quora User Managing Partner (Solicitor) & Mechanical Engineer Author has 20.3K answers and 10.7M answer views 1 y Personally, I think you should only have sex with people you are in love with. Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. Does the father know? Add to Collection. we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. Being pregnant is not a free pass for not working. He will probably try to then use the baby against you. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. Think about it if you can't love him ever then end it and learn to co parent. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. Opinions please. Keep reading for our tips and advice, and then give Pregnancy & Fatherhood Solutions a call today at (915) 249-1344 or visit us online to . YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? AND THE END OF THE DAY IS ALSO HERS. Now i have sleepless nights trying to find an angle but without success. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. WTF re u saying tat u will nt marry her if I was tat gal u will marry by force so tat when u die n return u will fu*k people that u love total rubbish.Now u want freedom my ass u wont get so whos gonna to marry ur baby mommy?? Maybe he doesn't like being used. We didn't have to be. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. I would sacrifice my own happiness and stay for the kids not interested in been with anyone else just want my girls and soon to arrive boy to be happy? Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. Add to Favorites. I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. Purposely avoiding sex is a great time to have your own awakening Not having sex can be a. Don't stay just for the kids. And I still do. Just here to say I constantly feel guilty for all of the crying I have done this pregnancy. Just not with her. Girlfriend Brokeup while pregnant. She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. He made a baby with you but doesn't seek out or make an effort to spend time with his daughter. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. Then suddenly she is all happy, and loved up which I find really hard to believe. AND NOW EVERY ONE IS UPHAPPY, MISARABLE, INCLUDING THE CHILD. You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. NO BABY no matter what deserves to be killed. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. Ex gf keeps driving past my house!!? I don't know if that's just hormones talking or what! Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. Next time, WATCH BEFORE YOU LEAP, U see how some guys end up sleeping with gurls dey do not love?? So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has 35 weeks - desperate to getto finish line ?? As a matter of fact, there are many mental, emotional, and social side effects associated with being a young-faced woman. sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. He's not in love so he's selfish??? Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. Paula Perry has a multi-page spreadsheet titled "Squirrels," which details the health and wellness of tiny, injured baby squirrels she keeps in her house. I've been trying to put my pride/ego/whatever aside and be with her, but it really kills me. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. That showed up as a third factor." What kept us together is our deep friendship and and our ability to communicate. THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. Noooo you have to marry and then spend the rest of your lives in hell with someone you slept with? Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. Either way, I was ready to "play house". I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. Because, you are not allowing yourself to have a better relationship, at least with your own self. Nothing from the start. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. I pretended to be. Learn more about. Good one boys real mature!! But there's something extraordinary about the energy level of a little boy. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? I know most of yall are gonna tell me to leave him and I wish it was that easy. I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL INVOLVED. So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has Hi all. And both of you surely need to stay in touch. It would feel odd. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. Welcoming your new baby with wishes of health, joy and plenty of sleep. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. SEE THEM EVERYDAY. Damaged. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. I'm in love with a married man And his wife is pregnant. They were always fighting. Do not be with someone you don't want to be with. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. I hope everything works out for you. Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here. as expected the women are been overly sentimental, ganging up on the guy insulting, and throwing reason out the window. I'm curious as to how he is selfish?? Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. I was By entering this site you declare "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. Wasn't looking for a sugar daddy. SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. He's controlling. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. In the end its all about the kids. BE RESPOSIBLE MAKE SURE TO BE THERE FOR THE CHILD. No one can tell you what to do, we all have different stories. So remember to try to be the best of you. She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. NOW THE CHILD IS BORN. I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. They were always fighting, unhappy. IF YOU BOTH DECIDED TO STAY IN A LOVELESS RELATIONSHIP. Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? NOW YOU WONT BE ALWAYS PHYSICALLY THERE, BUT BECUASE YOU ARE A HAPPY PERSON THAT WILL TRANSLATE THAT. No passion. Once the humiliation of being in a loveless marriage is confronted, it can be accepted and even result in a long-term relationship. Sooner or later it'll be over. I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! And the same with me. You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. That's what we tackle in today's blog. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. Otherwise, you will lose the child and her altogether. The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. For more information, please see our Time to grow up! 37 weeks today. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. Girlfriend is pregnant don't know if it's mine. Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. Why can't you go back to doing what you were doing before you met?